A family is at the dinner table.
The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"
The father, surprised, answers,
"Well, son, a woman goes through three phases.
In her 20s, a woman's boobs are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions.
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said,
"Mom, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers,
"Well dear, a man goes through three phases also.
In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration."
(This one takes a poke at both sexes.)